Frequently Asked Questions

What is your favourite character from your books?

I love all of my characters – even the nasty ones! I’ve spent so long with them, working out who they really are, that I can’t help but like them. Sometimes I even talk to them when I’m writing my stories, or imagine meeting them and going for tea!

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

No. I didn’t know I wanted to write stories until I was already in my 30s! But as soon as I started, I realised it was exactly what I should be…an author! It took quite a long time before I could really call myself that though. It isn’t easy to get a book published – you have to impress an awful lot of people first!

Now that I am an author, I realise that I’ve been making up stories in my head all along. You all do the same too – every time you play games with your friends, siblings, or maybe even on your own, you’re making up stories. Those computer games… each one is a story. You like to dress up as a super hero? There you go… you’re telling a different story every time.

Why do you write funny stories?

I write funny stories because I think it’s important to laugh at least once a day – if not all day long. When we laugh and smile, we feel as if we can do anything. Also, I enjoy it.

Did you do the illustrations for your books?

No! I can’t draw anything. Not even a stick person. Not even a stick! The wonderful illustrations for Help! I Smell a Monster & Whoa! I Spy a Werewolf are by a fabulous person called Kim Geyer. Kim does illustrations for other authors and for her own books too. The covers and illustrations for Haarville and my new book Firebloom are by the brilliant Francesca Ficorilli.

Is the moon really made of cheese?

Yes. A tasty Swiss cheese with lots of yummy holes in it. Obvs!

Where do you write?

Mostly at home in my study. I have an amazing view from my study window of the Forth Bridge, which is one of the most famous pieces of Victorian engineering in the world. I sit and watch trains rumbling over… it helps me think up things to write.

How old are you?

I’m older than you, probably.

Do you like animals?

Yes! I love animals! I have a lovely dog called Sally. She’s a greyhound and spends 90% of her time lying elegantly on the sofa. The rest of the time she’s either walking, running (not much), eating or asking for a slice of cheese – Swiss cheese with holes in it. Obviously!

What did you have for breakfast?

Today I had porridge. Some days I have toast with jam and cheese, or toast with peanut butter and jam, or toast with marmite, or toast with marmalade. I love toast. It’s my favourite food.

Can you come to my school and tell us about your books and how you write them?

I’d love to if I can. Go to my schools page for information about how your teacher can arrange it.